- Relationships built on love, trust, intimacy, and mutual respect are more likely lead to happy and healthy lifelong partnerships.
- Though no one can predict the future, there are certain relationship qualities that can help determine if your relationship will prosper or fall short.
- Here are 6 signs, from experts, that your relationship is going to last.
No one can predict the future — especially when it comes to relationships — but researchers and other experts have zeroed in on healthy behaviors that lead to romantic longevity.
“The most successful marriages, the ones that don’t suck, are the ones where the partners understand, respect, and appreciate each other,” say the New York Times best-selling authors (and spouses) Amiira Ruotola and Greg Behrendt, who are releasing “How to Keep Your Marriage from Sucking” in July. “It’s harder than it sounds.”
Here are six signs that your relationship is going to last for the long haul.
1. You’re both great at speaking and listening
The old adage that “communication is key” certainly holds true when it comes to healthy relationships. Ruotola says that both individuals in a relationship should feel free to speak openly and feel like they’re being heard. On the flipside, each needs to be able to truly listen.
“Communication feels safe and nurturing when each partner feels empowered and supported in the relationship,” she said.
Signs of good communication include asking follow-up questions, building on what the other says, and taking actions based on what the other says, Behrendt said.
Plus, healthy couples keep the important conversations face-to-face. A study by Brigham Young University found that couples who text too much — especially when it comes to making decisions, apologizing, or working out differences — often experience “lower relationship quality.”
2. You become more and more intimate — and not just sexually
Most people think of sex when they hear “intimacy,” but the word really means closeness, togetherness, and affinity between two people.
“It is a shared activity. From eye contact and hand-holding to having a baby and going through cancer, it is the vigilant assurance that ‘Hey, I’m right here,’” Behrendt said. “Sex is often mistaken for intimacy and is a result of great intimacy.”
In lasting relationships, there is continual growth in intimacy, Ruotola said. “Intimacy flourishes when your priorities as a couple are your joint needs versus one’s individual needs.” She notes that signs of intimacy are vulnerability, alignment, acceptance, a feeling of safety, and desired closeness.
However, that’s not to knock knocking boots. According to “Money, Sex, and Happiness: An Empirical Study,” published by The National Bureau of Economic Research, sexual frequency is associated with greater overall happiness. Or, as the study put it, “The more sex, the happier the person.”
3. You have a synergistic connection
The connection between two people — essentially the energy between you that draws you together — is healthiest when it’s synergistic rather than symbiotic, Ruotola said.
“Synergy is when two people’s individual efforts produce an effect greater than the sum of those individual efforts (1 + 1 = 3). Awesome, right?” she said. “Symbiosis is basically codependency, which at first can feel great because being needed feels good, and everyone loves a project! But, ultimately, codependency can be destructive.”
For example, Behrendt said his and Ruotola’s synergistic connection has yielded their children, friends, and shared career.
Signs of a lasting connection are buoyant energy, shared experience, and desired closeness, he said.
See the rest of the story at INSIDER
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