When you break up with someone, it's usually because you know that the relationship needs to end. But even knowing that, transitioning from life in a relationship to life on your own can be hard. It’s important to give yourself time to reflect on everything — good and bad — from your last relationship so that you can learn for the future.
The things that you do after you break up with someone cannot only help you deal with the changes but can help you grow as a person, as well.
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Remember to exercise.
When you’re feeling sad, guilty, down, or just not your usual self, it can be difficult to motivate yourself to get up and exercise, but doing so might actually help you.
"When we're in a relationship with someone, we form both an emotional and physical bond. Pleasant-feeling chemicals (endorphins, oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine) in our brain are released during times of emotional closeness, and unpleasant-feeling chemicals (such as cortisol) in our brain are released during times of high stress and conflict," Julie Williamson, LPC, NCC, RPT, a therapist and owner of Abundant Life Counseling St. Louis, told INSIDER.
"These chemicals affect our moods, and in some cases, physical symptoms. Even if we're the ones breaking up with someone for good reasons, breakups can still be hard because the chemicals in our brains don't know that the breakup is healthy and the right decision — only that we've lost a connection and those feel-good chemicals that come with it."
Williamson said that exercising can help you feel better because it’ll boost endorphins, but that you don’t have to do something high intensity in order to reap the benefits. Even just a walk will help.
Feel your feelings.
Some people think that there’s a time limit for feeling a certain way after a breakup. It’s important, however, to acknowledge and feel your feelings regardless of if you were heartbroken because someone broke up with you or you’re feeling guilty because you broke up with your partner.
"Avoiding feelings can be useful in a moment (instead of crying at work), [but] it is not a place you want to live," Jessica Cline, MSW, LCSW, a divorce recovery therapist, told INSIDER.
"The saying you have to feel it to heal it is true. The time needed to experience the suffering depends on each person and the nuances of the relationship. The process can take two weeks, two months or longer, however, if it feels like you are not recovering it may be a good idea to work with a mental health professional to assist you in your growth."
Take care of yourself in whichever way works best for you.
There’s a lot of talk about self-care right after a breakup. But what works for some people doesn’t work for everyone. Whether it’s a bubble bath, a great book, your favorite movie, yoga class, or your favorite meal, there are lots of things that you can do to take care of yourself.
"Journaling, yoga, setting small goals, spending time with loved ones — whatever releases those pleasant-feeling chemicals in your brain can be helpful," Williamson said.
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