- Dating these days comes with its own unique terminology.
- Ghosting, breadcrumbing, and gaslighting are all relationship phenomena people could run into when trying to find their next partner.
- Here are 9 terms, from a relationship expert, that define modern dating so you can recognize them when they happen.
When it comes to dating, it seems as though new terminology is constantly being introduced. For instance, talk of ghosts used to be limited to Halloween or reality shows, and now “ghosting” is popular year-round — at least when it comes to dating.
To help clarify “ghosting” and other modern dating terms, Business Insider reached out to Antonia Hall, a psychologist, relationship expert, and author. From an etiquette standpoint, Hall filled us in on what’s OK and what’s not in terms of new dating trends.
1. Ghosting
Ghosting is exactly what it sounds like — someone disappears and doesn’t bother to tell the person they’ve been dating. However, are there ever legitimate reasons to ghost?
“If you’re just too scared to be honest with the person, it is a very emotionally immature and selfish tactic,” Hall told Business Insider. She also said there are times when ghosting is necessary in order to take care of yourself. “If you’re dating someone who won’t take no for an answer, is emotionally abusive, or makes you feel unsafe, then cutting off all contact can be the best thing to do.”
2. Zombie-ing
Basically, after being ghosted, the ghost may return one day, as a zombie. The best part? They’ll act like nothing’s happened.
“The intention behind someone’s return is the important key to whether or not zombie-ing is OK,” Hall said. “Sometimes, people change and want another chance to make things right, but that should be made clear in their opening recommunication with you.”
3. Caspering
If “ghosting” had a cousin, it would be “caspering,” and the latter is the nicer of the two. Instead of just disappearing, someone who caspers basically tells the person they’re dating that they’re going to disappear in a nice way. “As opposed to ghosting, caspering is a compassionate way to bow out,” Hall said.
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