- Long-distance relationships can be extremely difficult — you have to over-communicate, sacrifice time with friends and family, and miss out on holidays and birthdays.
- The author was in a long-distance relationship for five years before she relocated to be with her partner.
- Her advice? Consider these eight things be fore committing to a long-distance relationship.
Sometimes couples find themselves living in different cities, states, or countries. As someone who lives in New York City, I never planned on falling in love with a woman from the UK — but it happened.
We had two choices: End the relationship before we got too serious, or stick with it despite the fact that it would be years before we’d be in the same place. We chose the latter.
Thankfully, it worked out for us and now we’re married. But navigating a long-distance relationship isn’t for everyone — it takes a lot of trust, patience, understanding, and most of all, a strong desire to make things work even when it feels impossible.
Here are some things everyone should consider before deciding to commit to a long distance relationship.
1. Your social life will likely suffer a little bit — but too much is bad
Wanting to spend as much time as possible talking to my partner in a different time zone meant that I often skipped out on friends and activities to make time for Skype sessions or phone calls.
I didn’t have much of a life outside of our largely virtual relationship, which eventually led to a dearth of conversational topics and a bit of resentment. We did eventually establish a balance, which kept us strong and allowed us to grow.
You should be prepared to occasionally sacrifice time out with your friends or doing activities in order to tend to your relationship, but attending to responsibilities and hobbies outside of the relationship is paramount.
2. Long-distance relationships are extremely expensive.
Whether you're shelling out on train or plane tickets — or just gas for your car — the money you’ll spend on trips to see your partner adds up.
Over the five years my partner and I were together long-distance, I spent an estimated $10,000 just in plane fare.
There’s also the long-distance phone bills, care packages, and the usual anniversary, birthday, and holiday gifts that come with any relationship to consider.
Cost shouldn't deter you from pursuing love, but it can definitely be prohibitive.
3. Sometimes you’ll wonder if you’re making a big mistake.
It’s important to make sure your heart is truly in the relationship as things progress. Once the honeymoon period was over, I sometimes wondered what I was doing. Yes, I loved my partner, but did I want to spend the next few years settling for phone calls, texts, and video chats rather than having real-life experiences with someone in the same city as me?
Ultimately, I always came to the conclusion that the difficulties we were experiencing were all worth it in the end, and questioning our relationship actually strengthened it.
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